TT Gets a Date...

...and it's not with me! Let me explain...

The last time I wrote I was about to take off for the "Dead Betties" concert with my friends "A" and Pixie. We met in the East Village and grabbed a bite to eat in the diner. A is going through his first "sober" relationship and had quite a few words of wisdom for me. A post about relationships in sobriety may be forthcoming.

The show was down on the Lower East Side at a place called "The Cake Shop," not far from NDN's favorite-- Congee Village. We got there relatively early-- early enough that there was an open bar going. All three of us are alcoholics with relatively new sobriety so that was kind of rough... at least for me. I could see a certain Mr. "Jack Daniels" winking at me from across the bar. I also saw a really hot guy there... at least I thought so. When I pointed him out to Pixie, she said that he wasn't her type at all. But I thought he had a beautiful face that looked a little bruised or swollen in an Elvis/Brando way. I really enjoyed looking at him. It was nice.

The act before the Betties was pretty grating on my ears and my eardrums started to hurt. Punk is just not my scene. But it made for some good people watching. The band didn't come on until after midnight and by that point I was a little tired and my ears were feeling swollen. I stayed until around 1:30 AM and then headed back to my neighborhood.

When I was almost home, I decided to stop into Cheers. I was surprised to see TT there. He was there with a group of his friends, two of whom are semi-regulars at Cheers, and so I already knew them.

"It's Hyde, back from the dead!" BarMan announced as I came in. PumpedUp asked if I was drinking. One of the Colombians was back tending bar for the summer. I settled in at TT's table with a diet coke. A really gross guy was coming onto me.

"So what happened to all that wild sex we used to have in the back alley?" he asked.

I just looked at him. Alcohol does funny things to people.

TT looked startled at my arrival.

"I was going to call you," he stammered. "I was going to call, but I figured you wouldn't be around."

He was slurring his words a bit. He was clearly drunk.

"That's okay," I smiled.

"I wanted to do that Evanescence song with you," he said. "I even told my friends, right guys?" he said, gesturing towards them with his beer.

He was leaning across me and being a little physical. He got me a soda. Then, at some point, I didn't see where he went. When he finally reemerged, it turns out he had been outside with one of his "friends" while she was smoking.

Interesting... I thought.

Then, when they were back inside, she started rubbing his leg. It was clear they were together... or if not "together" together then at least on a date. No wonder TT was acting strange and flustered. I decided not to stick around too long. If he was on a date, I certainly didn't want to get in the way of it.

When I left, he and the girl were outside smoking again.

"It was really nice meeting you!" she said in a chipper tone.

"Yeah, you too."

TT looked uncomfortable. I smiled at them both and spun on my heels towards home.

When I got back to my place, I couldn't sleep, so I watched American Psycho which I had saved on the DVR. It freaked me out and made me think about FightingMensch and his world. There was no way I could fall asleep after the movie. Every time I shut the light, I thought I saw a naked Christian Bale lurking in the shadows with a chain saw. It was seriously scaring me. I had to fall asleep with the lights on and sleep didn't come until around 5:00 AM.

This morning I woke up at 9:30, as B was due to meet me for brunch after he got through with church. We went for Filipino food and I had my favorite Pinoy breakfast-- tapsilog. I played him the tape from my most recent voice lesson. Afterwards we sat in Starbucks and talked about the difficulties of living a "spiritual life"-- again, something for a later post.

For most of the rest of today I tried, unsuccessfully, to nap. I'm thinking of Narc... of course I am, but I'm not sure quite what my thoughts are. I'm feeling something, but nothing, and I can't articulate any of it. Slope called me in the afternoon. She doesn't want to come back to our "home group" because of some gossip spreading around about her. I don't blame her. She switched sponsors. She's not ready to give up her self-destructive behavior when it comes to men. I totally identified. Then I got dressed for the meeting.

I had been asked to lead tonight's meeting and it all went really well. I felt good about it. When I got home, I talked to Hammer who was feeling saaad that the Alaskan had left town.

"Guess what?" she said to me.

"What?"

"Guess who I saw on Bleeker and Sixth?"

"Don't tell me... who?"

"Double-T! And he was with some girl."

Fucking unbelievable, right??? What is it with Bleeker and Sixth? First Brick and Narc... now Double-T. A lot of strange things have been happening these days.

I want to hold myself to a higher standard. So... why am I still entertaining thoughts of Narc?

love,
h