I am feeling very sad, very trapped and very frustrated. Maybe it's the extreme heat. But I feel suicidal and think suicidal and then I hate myself for it. But, there it is... It's strange that suicide can literally end someone's world and yet it's just another simple decision.
I don't know... I have the feeling I shouldn't be blogging right now. I'm gonna watch TV instead and maybe it'll be tomorrow soon. Maybe this air will pass and I won't feel suicidal anymore.
Sobriety is more complicated than I ever imagined. And it limits the ways in which I might "opt out." In some ways, it keeps me close to health, but in other ways, it pushes the "escapist" in me to more extreme ideas.
love,
h
2 comments:
Hope you can "escape" to a cooler place. They should add something about "Overheated" into HALT, but that would be like O'HALT. Crank up the air, and go to a movie or something.
miss you, hammer
It's an amazing thing how it is that our psyche continues to seek for hope, even when the only hope it can see lies in the most hopeless solution.
I wish for you coolness and connectedness today.
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