Facebook is a strange thing. People from your past can find you so easily. In a way, it was nicer before all of this internet stuff-- people would disappear and stay disappeared and where they went and whatever lingering feelings they left behind could be part of life's memories and mysteries.
In any case, I just got a facebook email from a girl I went to college with. I was never particularly friends with her. I knew her from choir. It was a strange letter-- one that dragged up all that old stuff about ChoirMan-- stuff I don't want to think about right now... stuff that is uneasy (and definitely not for Christmas!).
Here's what she wrote:
Hi Hyde --
I've actually wondered now and again what you ended up doing. You were the person whose voice I always listened for to make sure I was singing right! I hope life has treated you well. My life is insanely busy but good -- I teach HS in San Francisco and we have 4 kids, so good things.
I wanted to say, I look back on that last year in college and question my judgement on some occasions, so if any bad decisions I made were hurtful to you I am really truly sorry.
Anyway, are you in touch with anyone? I see Contessa and KSing, that's really cool. There's one woman in our community who gets season tickets to the SF opera and likes to take me once a year, so I just saw Macbeth (maybe that's why I was thinking choir?), that was fun.
Hope all is well,
ND
To tell you the truth, I'm kind of shocked that she thinks she was hurtful to me. That one moment of life for which she was around was such a small piece of that drama. But then again, what do I know? That part of my life is so much a blur that it's hard to keep straight exactly what did happen.
Anyway, Christmas was nice and I love my family. Perhaps I'll write more about that tomorrow. Tonight I want to take my feelings and my cat and snuggle somewhere and be cozy.
Merry Christmas to you all!
love,
h
3 comments:
4 KIDS! Whoa! I don't know who it is, but that doesn't matter. Any of those people who ended up with 4 kids is a disturbing thought.
It sounds like your time with your family was rejuvenating. Yay!
In AA, we talk about how we carry bad feelings about or towards someone, and they are never even aware of it. Perhaps that was the case here. It was bothering her, though you had no clue, and she wanted to get it off of her chest. A 9th step, so to speak.
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