Normalization

I figured I'd write something quick, as I was intending to post all day and never got around to it. Bezoukhoff is over right now, returning a phone call in the other room.

Anyway, yesterday when after I got out of teaching, I got a text from Narc saying something to the effect of "You were supposed to wake me up by blowing me!!" to which I replied "You really wanted me to?" I told him I didn't want to disturb his sleep because I was up so early, but I was sure he'd have another chance for that.

How soon can you come back over? he asked.

I told him not until after AA later that night. He told me to come by when I could and that in the meantime he was "taking care of himself."

I'm not quite sure what's going on with us right now, but I'm too sick of analyzing to bother analyzing right now.

Tuesday was a long day and I was anxious to get out of AA and go down to see Narc. I spoke to NDN in the afternoon and he gave me some big news-- he quit his job! I haven't really had a chance to talk it all out with him yet though. After AA, Talis, my old sponsor, was all of a sudden super friendly to me. She usually doesn't even say hello, so I found her sudden display of affection a little annoying. I wasn't sure if it was done for the benefit of Meema who was standing nearby.

Anyway, I "took care" of Narc when I got to his place, and then we had a pretty chill night watching TV. It was raining out and I liked being indoors with him against the backdrop of wind and lightning. He played me the "Iran so far" sketch on YouTube, we watched Boston Legal, an old episode of Sex in the City and part of Steven Seagal's Hard to Kill. I was dead tired and falling asleep on the couch. It was weird to be back there for a third night in a row, though. It was too domestic--as if I lived there. There was really no drama at all.

I had a very strange dream last night. In it, my hair was falling out in clumps. I was with Narc and he had to leave me to go pick up Hammer from the airport. They were in the middle of some conversation upon their return, and wouldn't let me join in. I kept trying to get attention from them, but neither of them was interested in me at all and I felt jealous and abandoned. It was weird. When I woke up this morning, I wasn't quite sure what to think...

Anyway, this morning we slept in for a while and then had to clear out because his maid was coming. He went to Landmarc to meet James and I went to the library to meet Bezoukhoff for a study session. On my way there, I called Hammer. She was stressed out that ProfPP is the professor who's going to be interviewing her for the Fulbright, and there is some tension between them ever since she ditched him to make ProfSex her dissertation advisor.

Bezoukhoff and I talked about our papers over tea and then sat down to get some serious work done. I put in about four hours there, which is more than I've done in a while, and I'm glad that I did it. I had to head out in the late afternoon, though, because I had a voice lesson. Bezoukhoff agreed to meet me at my place later.

My voice lesson was great. I am so much better than I was 2 weeks ago. I've been having trouble rebuilding strength in the muscles I need to sing ever since the surgery. I also have to re-learn muscle support, but it's going okay. My voice was pretty full and I had a decent amount of support under the B-flats. I was especially loving singing the Verdi.

Alvaro, io t'amo!

Back in my neighborhood, I met Bezoukhoff at the Amish Market and then we came over to my place where I sang arias until I was about ready to croak while he cooked us dinner. We watched some TV (he even tolerated "One Life to Live" for me. What a guy!) and that brings me to right now.

I'm getting observed in class tomorrow, so I need to make sure I get a decent night's sleep and wake up a little early to get my stuff together. So... I'm gonna get off the computer in a few.

I never detailed that weird night that Narc and I had on Sunday night, but maybe I'll just let it go. I don't know... we'll see if I have energy to relive that later in the week. I've seen him so much lately that I'm kind of glad to be back in my own house and my own bed tonight.

Wish me luck with my review!

love,
h