"If you want me..."

It's been a strange two days... spent most of it with Narc. I went down there on Sunday night. We met at Grace. I'll have to report on that evening when I have slightly more time. (Hammer says the two of us should have a reality show!).

On Monday morning I left to meet Hammer at the Tea Spot. (I guess it was more like Monday afternoon). I actually managed to outline my fascism paper. Once Hammer got there, though, we didn't get much work done. We had a lot of gossiping to catch up on. It was hot out, but we strolled through Washington Square Park anyway. Pixie stopped by to say hi on her way to an AA meeting. I went to hear her speak at that very meeting at 2:00 PM. She was great, and I'm so glad to be her friend.

Afterwards, Narc texted. He had just gotten out of bed from when I had left him that morning. (He had a considerable amount to drink the night before). He wanted me to come back to his place and to take a walk to Chinatown for dumplings. When I got there, though, he said he had just gotten an email about a meeting on the Upper West Side and had to leave in half an hour. So, we had quickie sex and then left together, sharing a cab uptown. We saw a crazy, homeless woman wandering on the sidewalk.

"When I see people like that, I'm grateful I got sober," I said.

"Yeah-- I'd see you in 40 years and trip over you living in the gutter," he laughed.

"It would be bad."

"What am I saying?" he shook his head, "I'd probably be in the gutter right next to you."

"Yeah-- there we'd be, still complaining that we're in the same rut; still wasting all of our days and passing the nights together."

Narc asked if I had walked by any of the filming for the new Sex in the City movie.

"Not yet," I said.

I told him about my favorite episode-- when Big has his heart troubles.

"I remember that one," he said. "He turns all cold in the morning."

"Don't you know what that's like?" I smiled, "to say things in the night and negate them by acting as if they were never said in the light of day."

He didn't answer.

Anyway, I kissed him goodbye on my corner, hopped out of the cab, showered, polished my nails, ate a subway wrap and headed to AA. I felt incredibly restored and re-centered having gone to two meetings in one day.

Originally I had plans to meet up with Jake for dinner, but he called and pushed it off til Wednesday. Narc texted me again that he was out in the West Village with some friends and asked if I wanted to meet up later. I told him that I had to go to bed early because I was teaching the next morning.

Not too late. Let you know, he wrote.

He ended up writing just after 11:00 PM, asking me to come to his place. So, I did, contingent on the promise that we would be to bed early.

At his place we smoked cigarettes and talked about meditation (and he becoming a goat-herder and I becoming a nun on the same mountain-top) and he made me play Halo-3. I wasn't very good at it, but I was much better at navigating the terrain than I was when I first picked up a controller a few years ago to try Resident Evil.

No matter how much I had been hating him for the night before, things seemed restored. I felt close to him again that night. I told him that I love him. He said the same.

Anyway, I just got to my office and have some things to print out and some emails to answer before starting class. So... I'll be back with an account of Sunday night later.

Until then...

love,
h