Rising to the Challenge

My stomach is full, full, full! I'm a little sick of the feeling-- slightly tight, slightly nauseated and not able to enjoy food. I guess it doesn't help that I spent my afternoon at the Tea Spot followed by the "Siegel Diner" with Hammer and then headed over to the Mansion after AA.

Overall, though, I can't complain. There is a miracle happening in my life right now. A miracle that I really can't credit to anyone except to God. My obsession with Narc is becoming lifted. I swear it... I can feel it... I can feel the freedom coming... It is being lifted! And I am ready to turn back to school. I'm a little bit scared about the most recent demands from ProfChair-- that I have to finish four fucking incompletes this semester! But, if that's what's being asked of me, that's what I need to do.

I have to remember that this is in my hands. I have to remember that the rewards will come in proportion to the work. I have to remember that I am on my second chance. And second chances don't come twice. After this, they are third and fourth chances, and not many people get those.

I am ready and willing to rise to the challenge. I am afraid that I won't find love again. But I can't live in that fear right now.

I need to not over-think. I need to be grateful that the grip of infatuation is lessening. I need to do my work.

And I will...