I must be self-obsessed because I've been watching Season 1 of "Sex and the City" and every episode that I see pertains immediately to me.
There's nothing I can do except admire my new haircut while listening to Marlene Dietrich tracks and chain-smoke cigarettes. Even though Marlboro Reds are strong enough to burn my tongue sometimes, the smoke they produce is deliciously thick.
Still not feeling it with Narc. No attraction. Am I done? Maybe. Is he done? Maybe. I slept there last night, but neither one of us really wanted to have sex. I lay there, unable to fall asleep, wondering what the whole point of it is if we're not having sex. I mean... that's what we were, to me... That's the aspect of my personality that needed him. Without it, I still love him in a way, but I don't need him. And if I don't need him, there's no reason for me to prioritize him when I have so much fucking work to do. I contemplated leaving. I contemplated saying something. But, for what? I don't know when I fell asleep.
Anyway, tomorrow is BigSis' baby shower. I spent waaaay too much money on her presents-- money I don't really have. I was just excited to buy things for my niece.
Have to run now. Heading to AA on the Upper West...
=h=
2 comments:
Damn, woman! Marlboro Reds are hardcore. Not at all good for the lungs.
Reds!!!
That's what I smoke.
I'm hardcore!!
While reading your blog it's as though you were speaking for me. You read my mine. You and I, though we were not bed with the same men, we somehow were.
Have we figured out how to not get emotionally attached? Will we?
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