Hyde becomes Quotidian

Well, all of the "well wishes" and "cheerful thoughts" must have worked, because on Tuesday, I had a much better day! Most of the day was spent in a faculty workshop over at the college where I teach. The department is working on redeveloping the major and there are some serious changes being made to the curriculum in terms of the required courses. It was nice because I hardly ever talk to any of the other faculty there. Usually I just come in, duck into my office, duck out to teach my class and get out of there as fast as possible. I forgot that there are other interesting people around-- historians no less!

Anyway, that went on until about 3:00 PM. After that I had to dash home and change my clothes. My AA group celebrates anniversaries on the last Tuesday of the month, so yesterday was my day to get up there at the podium and speak for a minute. I met my sponsor before the meeting to rehearse something-- she is an opera singer, as am I, and we are going to perform a duet in little talent show on Friday. We rehearsed it down in the church basement. My only qualm? We are singing Mozart and while she is a Mozart mezzo, it is increasingly difficult for me to do Mozart. With each year, I feel like my voice becomes bigger and more unwieldy and it just sounds a little silly on Mozart. I was trying to explain this to Cherubino (think about it people... I named her Cherubino!) and I'm not sure whether or not she understood why I was feeling insecure about it. In any case, I'm excited for Friday...

My mom, BigSis and Bro-in-Law came to the meeting. I saved them seats up front and eagerly anticipated their arrival, as it was a "first" for both my mom and Bro-in-Law. I was glad they were there. Afterwards, people congratulated me and told me that I spoke eloquently. I felt good. I felt grounded and whole and "at home." That "at home" feeling is a tough one for me. As I child I used to cry and cry and say "I want to go home!" which would always perplex my mother who would try to soothe me by pointing out that I already was home. Anyway, last night, for once, I finally felt as if I had "arrived."

After the meeting, my family members headed home, Meema dashed off to pack (she's leaving town for the weekend. Sadly, her husband's grandmother just died), and I headed out with Slope and StarGazer to Dos Caminos. Slope told us some funny story about how she once drank a whole pot of cheese fondue at Dos Caminos when she was stoned. I had hoped to meet up with Dan later on in the night, but by that that point I was desperately tired, so I had to postpone our reunion.

Tomorrow I am off to the lab for (another?) glucose tolerance test. I also have to get tested for something that required me to collect my urine for a 24 hour period, so I couldn't venture far from my house today. Dan came by at around lunch time. I was glad to see him and am glad he's back in town.

At around 4:00 PM, B came over. (See? I was well entertained while home-bound having to pee in a jar). He was coming from a cello lesson and wanted to practice some things with me playing on piano accompaniment. I played him the Little Mermaid "techno mix" that I made with Hammer and the Alaskan the other night and he laughed. It's kind of ridiculous and makes me laugh every time I hear it too. Even Hammer couldn't fall asleep on the couch the night we made it because she kept laughing. B was thoroughly entertained despite the fact that we were both in a rather cranky mood.

After he left, I ate some cherries and then headed out to choir practice, my fingers crossed that I wouldn't have to pee until I made it back home. (I brought a Snapple bottle just in case, but thankfully it went un-utilized.) The conductor for Monday night's performance was there to rehearse us. His style? Sheer Italian melodrama. In his words? "I want you to ebb and swell with the music so much that you get seasick!" Now, that's my kind of man.

Anyway, I just watched the season finale of House and that made me sad. Now I'm listening to Eartha Kitt. She makes me smile.

That's it for now. I'm trying to ignore the knots in my stomach that won't seem to ever go away. I have to confess... I spent a good portion of the afternoon obsessively thinking about you know who, but I'm doing my best to keep it manageable. Broken hearts have to heal, right? Life has to go on? Right? I'm betting on it...

love,
h

PS: My sponsor thinks I have a major fear of becoming quotidian. She keeps trying to assure me that I needn't fear. Will "keep it simple" make me boring? Maybe it will... Or maybe she's right... Whatever. One reason for my stomach to be in knots is enough for tonight.