Notes from my Sick Bed

I seem to have come down with a cold. I've got a sore throat and I'm bed bound feeling feverish and sick. Ugh! It's been fucking freezing out over the past few days. Last night, waiting on the train platform, my toes got a little frost bite. (Actually, I think it's "frost nip" as it wasn't all that serious).

In any case, I'm not in the mood to write much, but I figured I'd just get something out...

On Friday I went to the movies by myself (which I never do). I also ate some Russian food with NDN.

On Saturday, I woke up early to go to another meditation at the NY Insight Meditation Center with my mom, BigSis and her friend English. It was definitely an interesting experience. It's very strange to get to see the way your own mind works. I find that focusing on my breathing makes me think about voice lessons which makes me think about the arias I'm trying to memorize which makes me start running them in my head. It's incredible how my brain doesn't want to let go of being "productive."

Afterwards, we all ate lunch at a nearby coffee shop before my mom dropped me back off at home.

That night, NDN and I agreed to go to a birthday party that Meema was throwing for her mother-in-law. The party was up in Hastings-on-Hudson, so Meema was driving us up there. She came by my place at around 5:30 with another friend from AA (named Jesser). After printing a few things out on my computer and fussing and primping a little, we were all set to go.

The party wasn't set to begin until 8:30 PM, but we were there early to help set up. It was held in a beautiful hall. Meema was wearing a stunning gold dress. It was an interesting party-- a lot of speeches. Meema had asked me to perform Schubert's Ave Maria, which of course, I did. I got a standing ovation and a lot of fawning. It was nice. Meema's husband's drunk cousin became enamored with me after the song, though, and that was kind of "awkward" to say the least. When we were leaving, I offered him the obligatory hug good bye and he sort of licked my cheek. It was really gross.

We didn't end up leaving the party until 2:30 AM and at that point, I was a little upset. I had no idea how late the party was going to run, but after midnight, there was no more chance to take a train back so we were basically stuck there until Meema could leave. Plus, I had spoken to Narc earlier in the afternoon and he had invited me to come down there that night. I told him about the party, but guess-timated that I'd be at his place by 2:00 AM or so.

In any case, NDN and I were up to our usual shenanigans-- he texting his new "lover" and I texting Narc. I ended up writing Narc some really dirty texts-- things that I never say and that I'm too embarrassed to put up here on the blog. I wasn't sure how he'd respond. This was all at around 2:00 AM. He didn't really address what I wrote in the texts; rather, he only told me that he'd be home from the bar in ten minutes.

To make a long story short, I got to his place at around 3:00 AM. I was all revved up and ready t o have some crazy sex.

"Come into the bedroom," he said. "I'm just about turning in for the night."

(So far so good.)

I took off my makeup and plugged in my cell phone and brushed my teeth all while chatting with him about the party.

"How did the singing go?" he asked.

"Actually-- it was great."

I climbed into bed with him; he pulled me tight.... no sex. I was totally confused. I tried to initiate, but he wouldn't respond to me. It was the most classic move he could have pulled-- never to give me the upper hand. In any case, it made me smile. I tried my best to fall asleep before the clock struck 5:00 AM. We got to have our crazy sex in the morning.

I had to leave his place by noon, though. I wish I didn't have to, as he was planning to just bum around and watch Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant. But my mom had gotten the whole family tickets to see Evita on its national tour out on Long Island. She was throwing an "Argentine Banquet" before the show.

She made steaks with chimmichurri sauce and some kind of Argentine rice and had a spread of Argentine appetizers. Her secretary "D" came with her daughter and so did my steppdad's sister and her family (husband and three kids). And then, of course, there was my family-- my parents, BigSis, LilSis, Bro-in-Law and JBC.

The play was fun because we were all together and I got to sit next to my 9-year-old cousin who was endlessly inquisitive, but I couldn't stand the voice on the actress who played Eva. Oh well...

BigSis and Bro-in-Law drove me to a train in their neighborhood to get back to the city. The wind-chill made temperatures below zero-degrees, and that's when my toes almost froze off. It was also probably the last straw (combined with the lack of sleep on Saturday night) that let this stupid virus take hold in my usually robust body. B is sick too, right now, so maybe something is going around.

Anyway, that's it for now. I'm off to try to eat a tangerine and take some Tylenol. I feel like shit. I just want to lay here and watch TV.

love,
h