I'm tired of this blog at this address. It happens...
I'm starting over again. You can find me here.
cheers!
h
Monday, August 4, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
Ich Hab' Die Ganze Nacht Geweint...
I must be self-obsessed because I've been watching Season 1 of "Sex and the City" and every episode that I see pertains immediately to me.
There's nothing I can do except admire my new haircut while listening to Marlene Dietrich tracks and chain-smoke cigarettes. Even though Marlboro Reds are strong enough to burn my tongue sometimes, the smoke they produce is deliciously thick.
Still not feeling it with Narc. No attraction. Am I done? Maybe. Is he done? Maybe. I slept there last night, but neither one of us really wanted to have sex. I lay there, unable to fall asleep, wondering what the whole point of it is if we're not having sex. I mean... that's what we were, to me... That's the aspect of my personality that needed him. Without it, I still love him in a way, but I don't need him. And if I don't need him, there's no reason for me to prioritize him when I have so much fucking work to do. I contemplated leaving. I contemplated saying something. But, for what? I don't know when I fell asleep.
Anyway, tomorrow is BigSis' baby shower. I spent waaaay too much money on her presents-- money I don't really have. I was just excited to buy things for my niece.
Have to run now. Heading to AA on the Upper West...
=h=
There's nothing I can do except admire my new haircut while listening to Marlene Dietrich tracks and chain-smoke cigarettes. Even though Marlboro Reds are strong enough to burn my tongue sometimes, the smoke they produce is deliciously thick.
Still not feeling it with Narc. No attraction. Am I done? Maybe. Is he done? Maybe. I slept there last night, but neither one of us really wanted to have sex. I lay there, unable to fall asleep, wondering what the whole point of it is if we're not having sex. I mean... that's what we were, to me... That's the aspect of my personality that needed him. Without it, I still love him in a way, but I don't need him. And if I don't need him, there's no reason for me to prioritize him when I have so much fucking work to do. I contemplated leaving. I contemplated saying something. But, for what? I don't know when I fell asleep.
Anyway, tomorrow is BigSis' baby shower. I spent waaaay too much money on her presents-- money I don't really have. I was just excited to buy things for my niece.
Have to run now. Heading to AA on the Upper West...
=h=
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